Pregnancy: 33 weeks 1 day
Total weight gain: 13kgs (28.66lbs)
Baby size (head to butt): 29cm (11.41in)
Baby weight: 1.9kgs (4.18lbs)

Boy am I getting bigger (even though I didn't gain any weight...)! My belly button has pretty much popped all the way out (except for a little at the bottom, but I'm not entirely sure that will pop out), and I've had a few people tell me I look like I've swallowed a rather large basketball. I currently have one tiny stretch mark located on my belly between where my belly button ring went in, and where it came out. As I said before, that part of just can't stretch anymore! Now my belly button looks a bit like a war zone. First you have the target freckle, next to that (but still on my actual belly button) are two reddish wrinkles (that before this week had never seen the light of day). Move a bit north and you come to stretched out belly ring exit hole, little purple stretch mark on top of that, then stretched out belly button entry hole at the top. Oh, and the holes are quite red from all the stretching. I hate to think what they will look like when my tummy goes back to normal size (I'm telling you Mom, I will get it back to normal size!).

People keep telling me that I "look tired." Now I know they are trying to be sympathetic, but really, what they are saying is "you look a bit crap today." They usually follow up the tired comment with "how long have you got to go?" Conversation according to me: "You look a bit crap today. Good thing you don't have long to go, I can't imagine how crap you would look by the end if you had a long time to go." Thanks people. I much prefer the people that tell me I "look healthy." I've had quite a few people say that as well. I think they are the people who have been pregnant themselves, or had a spouse that was pregnant, and know that a compliment is much better then telling me I look crap. Here is a little etiquette guide to use when talking/interacting with a pregnant woman:

1. NEVER tell us we look tired. In our mind that says we look a bit crap, bags under the eyes, droopy eyelids, and so forth. We know we are tired and look a bit crap, but we certainly don't need you to tell us that.

2. Compliment us. Tell us we look healthy, that translates to "wow, you must be eating all the right things, exercising, and taking wonderful care of your baby. Good job!" Or, even better, tell us we are glowing. Even if we are not either of those things, it will still make our day (because involuntary grunting noises when we try to pick ourselves up off the couch or chair, and waddling like a duck don't make us feel overly wonderful).

3. If we are carrying something, offer to help (we like the gesture and attention), but if we say no, don't insist (and then take our bag while we are trying to fight for bag retention), that only makes us feel completely useless (and this after being told we look crap, I mean "tired" really doesn't go over well in our minds). We are pregnant, not quadriplegic. It's not like we are carrying a backpack full of bricks.

4. If the train or bus, etc. is full, offer us your seat. We get swollen uncomfortable feet, and really enjoy sitting down if we need to. Again, if we say no, don't insist. Usually if we say no, we are not quite as pregnant as you might think, and enjoy standing up while we still can (we still like the initial gesture of offering though).

5. Don't get annoyed or cranky with us when we forget things/forget to do things, etc. We have the "baby brain" and would forget our head if it wasn't attached. We genuinely don't mean to forget what you said/did/told us/what we were supposed to do, and we do feel bad for forgetting.

Once again, Aaron and I had an antenatal class on Thursday. We find these very informative, but sometimes they are rather frightening at the same time. Last week, they showed us an ancient torture device. Metal, large, a bit like gigantic salad servers. They could only be used for torture. But no, they were forceps! No thank you, do not come near me with those things or I will punch you in the nose! I don't know if you've ever seen forceps, but as I said, LARGE, metal, a bit like a giant pair of salad tongs. Girls, think giant metal speculum from hell. Not only does the torture device actually have to go um... inside, but you also need an episiotomy for them to be able to make an exit with the baby. Episiotomy to me seems like torture also. They also passed around a vacuum (the pulling out baby kind, nothing like the household cleaning kind, don't worry). This device was much more forgiving, and not bigger then the baby's head, so no need for the dreaded episotomy. Luckily they say forceps are not used very much anymore.

Later in the class, they showed us another birth video (again from the 80s). This time the woman had an active birth, on the ground on all fours. The head came out during a contraction, but what I didn't realise until then (I suppose I didn't really think about it) is that the head then just kinda sits there, for what seemed like hours waiting for the next contraction. I found that bit quite disturbing. The baby still had it's eyes closed, wasn't breathing or moving yet, it looked a bit dead, and just sitting there, hanging out of the mom. There was blood tinged mucus coming out of the baby's nose, which they told us was being expelled from it's lungs by the pressure of fitting through the birth canal. This is a good thing, otherwise the baby couldn't breathe upon full exit due to it's lungs being filled with the amniotic fluid it's been "breathing" in. Of course it might have been even more disturbing if the baby was looking around, and/or crying. On the next contraction, out popped all of baby, it started crying/moving/breathing, and all was well. We were also told that sometimes the mother, amongst all that pushing, does a bit of a poo. Now that's all well and good (well, extremely embarrassing, and probably horrifying for her husband to watch), but as I said, the head comes out and then sits there. If you did do a poo with all that pushing, depending on your position (remember, laying down on the bed is not the optimal position for giving birth), you could be pooing on your baby's head. Maybe the midwives catch it, I'm not sure, but hopefully I won't be a pooer as I'd like our baby to come out poo free.

I realised the other day that Mushi hiccups a lot. I don't know if he just started doing it, or if I just hadn't noticed when he was head up, but I feel it at least once per day now. Since he is in the correct position (head down and facing my spine), his cute little hiccups seem to reverberate through my intestines. I suppose that makes since as the little head is right next to my innards. Sometimes, I know he has his head turned to the side (usually when I'm laying in bed) because the hiccup reverberation is felt on my side, rather then my insides. FYI, hiccuping is normal for babies in utero, and once they are born.

I've started packing my hospital bag. I don't think the baby will come early, but you never know, and I like to be organised. I have all the important bits in there, muesli bars, fruit cups, gatorade, and hard candy. Apparently you can get a bit hungry while you are in 1st stage. Plus your "support person" will need some sustenance. I should probably start packing all the other stuff I will need as well (clothes, etc.). The hospital has a no budgie smugglers (speedos) or underwear policy for men, so I will also need to pack Aaron a pair of boardies (for assisting me in the bath and shower). He is also not allowed to be naked. The midwives see enough nudity in the women, they don't need it in the men too (or maybe they would be too distracted if there were naked men running around). Aaron doesn't really like to parade around naked, nor does he own any budgie smugglers , so I think we will be fine (although the guy in the 80s birthing video was wearing budgie smugglers. Maybe he is the reason for said policy?).

Yay, a nice lady who lives in the building I work in just told me that I look good, and pregnancy suits me. In your face all those who tell me I "look tired!"